Here I am, Mother’s Day weekend. It’s difficult to remember the time before “mom” was one of my names now that days are full of little arms reaching for me to cuddle in close, constant chatter of four little people sharing important details of their day, laughter as they play amongst themselves, as well as bickering because “he (or she) is copying me”, navigating the boys’ room like a land mine hoping not to land on a painful lego, 4 kids calling my name all at once with what they believe is an imminent, earth-shattering need!
But, there was a time I wasn’t “mom”. Time where my greatest hearts desire was to hold and cuddle a baby of my very own. Our story of four blessings is unique, as all journeys are. Time passed with an empty womb and when life was created and I carried a little one, within weeks that baby was living in heaven. Never experiencing my eagerly awaiting arms.
Then…there was Drew. My first-born. And just like that, I was mom. Overwhelmed with exhaustion, unsure of my ability to care for a newborn, navigating a world filled with strollers, diapers, nursing, spit-up, and naps (or more appropriately NO naps), I wondered if I was capable of filling this new role.
But, there was love. So much love! My greatest dream in life to become a wife and mom had come true.
I dressed my new baby in the cutest little outfits, changing him to run to Publix if there was even a drop of spit-up on his clothes. My how time (& multiple kids) has changed that! We went on countless walks, just he and I and our dog, Rex. We enjoyed the park almost every day. Library time, play-dates, and chic-fil-e filled our calendar. Those were sweet and precious days.
As the years go by, challenges accompany this dream daily. I lack wisdom, not knowing the best way to navigate new stages, phases, and ages. Then, when I come to the end of myself, I remember the One who granted me these gifts and I turn to Him for direction, hope, and peace. It is there I rest.
This Mother’s Day will be spent with my oldest. My first-born. A trip just the two of us. Watching him compete in a national quiz tournament. I marvel at his depth of knowledge, delight in the joy as he meets up with his teammates, and relish the one on one time that had once been so abundant, but is now much more limited as he shares me with 3 others who also call me mom.
This weekend is a special time. A gift. Although I miss being with my other three blessings, I will soak up every second of this alone time with the one who first called me mom.