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What happened when I put my kids needs over my desires

The alarm went off and I dragged myself out of bed. Groggily, I stumbled to the bathroom with my eyes still half-closed wondering how I would make it through today’s work-out. I can usually muster up enough energy to get moving, but on this day, even after being “awake” for several minutes, I still did not feel rested. Although I knew I could push myself to get ready, all that kept running through my mind was a previous post I wrote titled “Choosing What is Better”.

Realizing that if I forced myself to head to the gym, I would not have the energy I needed to enjoy a fruitful day. I stood in my closet staring at the work-out clothes that had been laid out the night before. If I got dressed and headed out the door I knew I would not be the mom I wanted to be on this day. I would most likely be grumpy, impatient, lazy…not wanting to put forth much effort into the day.

The problem was, I wanted to work out! I wanted to stick to my schedule! I wanted to enjoy some alone time! I wanted, I wanted, I wanted….but as these words were running through my mind, it struck me. I may desire this, but what do my kids need? Without another thought I knew I needed to get back into bed and gain the much needed rest my body craved.

I crawled back under the soft, cozy comforter and drifted back off to sleep. When I woke I felt ready for the day ahead. Observing the quietness in our home I realized that I could enjoy some alone time after all. I grabbed my Chronological Bible and settled back into the pillows. I am currently in the book of Numbers and to be honest, much of what I have recently read I don’t thoroughly understand or realize the significance of, but what I’m convinced of is that I’m growing in a greater understanding of who our Lord is.

On this particular morning I read about Moses striking the rock to bring forth water (Numbers 20), and also about the wandering Israelites asking kings if they could pass through their land (Numbers 20 & 21).

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After my time in the Word I placed it back on my nightstand and began my day; showering, making beds, unloading the dishwasher, and fixing breakfast.

At breakfast I have been reading through the book of Judges with the kids. Want an exciting book with heroes and villains? Open up to Judges! My boys are loving it! (and actually so is their sister) 🙂

On this day we were continuing with the story of Jepthah in the 11th chapter of Judges. As I read, we arrived at the passage where Jepthah is communicating with the king of the people of Ammon about Israel possessing their land.

My eyes opened wide as I began to recognize these words of Jepthah as he recounted the story of how Israel came to control this land. Suddenly I made the connection! I told the kids to hold on and I quickly ran to my room to grab my Chronological bible. I laid it on the counter and once again read the words they had just heard, but this time the passage was out of Numbers instead of Judges. I then explained to them that what we just read in Judges for their Bible time were the same words I had read that very morning in my quiet time!

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This was more than a coincidence; it held great significance for me.

  1. Knowing history is important. Because of Jepthah’s knowledge of what had taken place in the past, he was able to inform this king how the Israelites actually came to possess this land. Jepthah knew the truth and was not distracted with confusion by hearing a different version of this story.
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2. Reading the Word cover to cover, and not camping out in my favorite books of the Bible, has helped to give me a greater understanding of passages as a whole. Seeing how scripture is intertwined I’m acquiring deeper insight into stories, promises, prophesies and exhortations.

 3. But, for me, the most important lesson from this day, was the fact that I listened to the leading of the Spirit and chose what was better, altering “my” plan and remaining at home. Because of this I was able to share my excitement with the kids as we made the connection of my scripture reading with theirs! How incredible that the Lord orchestrated these passages to be read on the very same day.

Don’t we serve an amazing God?

Is the Lord urging you to re-examine the plans that you make? Is He asking you to be flexible with your time…your days? Maybe there is a charge to place certain desires aside to minister to the needs of your spouse, your children, a friend, a neighbor, maybe a co-worker?

Every desire may not need to be cast aside, but are we willing to lay them down? That’s really the question. I believe it has less to do with our actions, and more to do with the condition of our heart.

If I’m asked to skip a day at the gym, may I be willing to change my plans and joyfully give that time to the Lord. If I’m prompted to meet a need for a friend during a busy season, may I put all excuses aside and serve them with gladness in my heart. If I’m led to extend a listening ear to a hurting person, may I allow interruptions in my days and share the love of Jesus through my actions and words.

Thank you Lord for showing me once again the joy in obedience. Whether I ever see the full picture of what You are orchestrating, may I walk forward, one step at a time, trusting in Your mighty plan.

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