I’ve begun attending a Barre workout class at my gym on Wednesday afternoons. I don’t know if the best way to describe it would be to say that it is horribly wonderful or wonderfully horrible. 🙂
It is BY FAR one of the most challenging workouts I have ever done. During class it is agonizing, excruciating, and just plain awful. (At least it is to me!) So why do I keep going? Because when the hour of torture is complete, it’s the most phenomenal feeling in the world! I did it! I pushed through the pain and the agony and persevered.
After class I slink down the stairs barely able to lift my legs. I grab the kids from kid care and commit to attending the following week.
As I walked through the gym doors this past week, I determined that my goal would be to complete at least 15 minutes of exercises before having to take a break. I didn’t make it. My legs were shaking and burning and “just 30 more seconds” felt like “30 more years!” I’ve come to the realization and am finally accepting the fact that I simply can’t do it.
I used to push through anything. Give me a challenge and I was ready to tackle it! But the simple truth is, what the Lord has been opening my eyes to see, is that there are times that I can’t.
During barre I’ll catch a glimpse in the mirror of others in the class. In those quick glances I never catch anyone else stopping, quitting, or taking a break! I compare my weakness to their strength. But, I have to remind myself that I’m only catching a snippet of our short time together.
As I get a fleeting look into others’ lives, I can be overcome with discouragement.
“She homeschools her children and always has a smile and gentle word for her kids.”
“She looks at her husband with adoration and never criticizes him.”
“She will drop anything to serve someone in need.”
“She has a different activity every night of the week and never seems to tire.”
“Everything in her house is perfectly organized and is so clean it sparkles!”
Legislative session is upon us and I have years of experience with the demanding hours for Andy that comes along with it. I have been praying, spending time in the Bible, seeking the Lord, yet I still found myself hitting a wall. At the end of our third week in I felt like this…
Exhaustion kicked in.
I hate that I am unable to do it all.
I hate that my weaknesses are revealed.
I hate that I’m worn down.
Most of all, I hate that I can’t.
But, even as I struggled with these thoughts of I can’t, I remembered that God can.
At the end of this week, He turned my hopelessness into hope as I placed my burdens upon Him. I opened my Bible to receive encouragement through His Words.
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
This past week I was reading in Exodus. Moses, who was in the desert judging the people from morning until evening, receives a visit from His father-in-law. Jethro observes the great demands placed upon Moses and shares these words with him…
“YOU CANNOT HANDLE IT ALONE”
Oh, the wisdom. The depth. The truth.
No, Moses could not handle it alone, and neither can I.
It’s time to admit that I can’t.
Just as in my barre class when the agony creeps in and I don’t think I can go on, I pause, collect myself, and continue on because I know that the end is worth it.
In my life there are moments where I need to pause, to give myself permission to breathe, to gather myself and renew my strength before continuing. As I allow these interruptions to say a prayer, read a verse, text a friend for encouragement or put my feet up, my strength is renewed and I am reminded that…
I can’t, but He can.
I have experienced difficult, trying, and overwhelming times in my life. I have had moments where I felt that I was drowning and would be unable to fight my way to the surface, or as Anne of Green Gables would say “I was in the depths of despair.” 🙂 During these moments I opened the Bible and believed that His words would comfort me when I didn’t know what else to do.
No, I cannot handle it alone. My stubborn, independent self is coming to the realization that not only do I need the Lord, but I need others. I have yet to figure out exactly what form this will take, but as the Lord revealed my need for help, I am determined to take action and not to store this wisdom on the highest shelf out of my reach.
Are there some I can’ts in your life? Have you allowed yourself to drown in despair?
If you are a believer then you have the assurance that you are never alone. The Lord is always with you. There are also those who would love to enter your world, to love on you, to lend a listening ear, and to provide the help you desperately need.
LET THEM IN!
LET THEM HELP!
LET THEM SEE YOUR WEAKNESS!
(Those words are for me, more than for anyone else!) 🙂
Just as in my Barre class when I want to quit, grab my towel, and sneak out, I continue on because I have a knowledgeable and encouraging teacher. It’s the same in my life when I believe I can’t, I continue on because I have the greatest teacher of all.